I’m not sure which is the shittier gift from Canada to America: Justin Bieber or Ted Cruz? Sorry America but they’re your headache now. Maybe you could regift them to Putin or Kim Jong Un.
Categories: Humour
Tags: Canada, Gift, Justin Bieber, Ted Cruz
Get Off My Lawn 
Perhaps we can just leave them at the nearest boarder crossing, ring the bell and run. Seriously though. I’m laughing so much I’m crying, but that could just be over the fool who announced his Presidential bid more than a year and a half before the freaking elections. I can hear my phone ringing already…
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And he looks weird. I know that shouldn’t matter. But still.
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Geez, thanks for the gifts. Isn’t there some kind of return policy, though? I’ve wondered aloud why Justin Bieber hasn’t been deported.
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No return on anything bought on sale. Sorry.
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YOU?!?!! WTF? YOU? I should have known…
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Hahaha. And Cruz is a Senator from Texas isn’t he?
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Hush your mouth! Not all of us claim him…
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If President doesn’t work out maybe he’ll be governor.
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I hate you. I hope there is a zombie attack while you are out walking with your wife….
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When Cruz becomes governor all medicine will be deemed a violation of God’s law. As will women.
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That will make my job easier.
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Come to Canada. You will always have a home here.
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But it might turn me into Ted Cruz or Bieber… Then, there are the zombies to contend with.
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I’d rather you be a zombie than either of those two. Hell, you’d be smarter, I tell ya what.
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Amen.
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Hahahaha
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I’m quite neither Putin nor Kim John Un want Bieber or Cruz. I don’t know much about Cruz, but I feel like Bieber is a disgrace to humanity.
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Oh Cruz is a real piece of work. You’ll probably be hearing a lot from him in the next little while. He declared his run for president today.
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Great. Wait, I thought you said he was Canadian? Oh, bother
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Yeah. He was somehow able to renounce his citizenship (oh shame) and so he must be able to run.
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I hate election the time around elections where all you hear is “I’m so and so, and I approve this message” like very five seconds on the TV.
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We get them hear too. Some of them are really mean.
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Maybe I need to brush up on my facts (which is sad because I have a master’s in history) but I thought you had to be born in the US to be President. I feel like the 2016 race is going to be extra annoying.
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That’s what I thought. As long as one parent was born in America. In this case it was his mother.
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I’m working up a post about our first gay president (Buchanan) in the vein of my “climbing Mt. Jerry” post. I thought of you when I wrote the one for today actually…. I saw my lunch and the insane amount of visible garlic all over it and immediately heard what I imagine to be your voice saying “I smell the stink!”
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I need to read that. Just haven’t had a chance. Geez, Cruz and Bieber sure stir people up.
I would yell at you from Canada if I knew you were violating your breath with that much garlic!
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I threw it out. It was disgusting.
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Then I’ll stop yelling. Phew.
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I can’t hear you anyway.
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I’m yelling in your head. (whispers) I’m in your head.
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lmao
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Where are all the birthers now?!? Somehow because he’s a Republican his birth certificate doesn’t count but President Obama’s does.
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How dare you question this man! A Rebublican by nature is pure American, his party card is all he needs to prove that.
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I’m a blasphemer like that.
I know he’s eligible to run based on his citizenship by proxy. It’s just so very ironic that the poster boy for the Tea Party has such a similar circumstance and, yet, I haven’t heard anybody asking to see his birth certificate. *rolling my eyes*
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There probably isn’t a birth certificate. My suspicion is he was created in a lab by Dr. Evil.
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Ha. Funny. But Ted Cruz is about as likely to be President as I am. He irritates EVERYONE.
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Guillen for President!
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YES! Just need a slogan.
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“Don’t go to the John. Vote for John.” Meh, not my best work but you’re getting this for free so . . .
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BAHAHAHA! What I was going to say is no match for that.
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I’ll put it on a t-shirt.
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I need that shirt yesterday. 2016 is fast approaching.
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I’ll send it on the next dog sled.
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Hahaha they won’t make it here. Much too hot outside.
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You’re probably right. The dream is over. But it was a blast.
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I was planning on hiring you as my campaign manager. Oh well.
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Oh that job is mine. You really don’t get much of a say. I’m going to be “the man behind the man.”
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The man behind the man. I hope that’s a quote that I just don’t know! Hahaha!
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Hahahaha. It is. It means the politician is the is there to carry out the will of his benefactors and those who get him elected. What? You thought I wanted to smell your hair?
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That’s what I thought. And I also had a literal picture in mind. 😩 My hair smells nice.
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Better not let Mr. Cruz hear you talk about smelling hair.
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Once again, I don’t understand the reference. I fail.
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Relax. Cruz is big time anti gay so even a hint of that might set him off. You do not fail. I do not get shit all the time. I ask.
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Oh. I knew that much about him. He’s from my state and try very hard not to keep up with everything he says or does.
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God bless Texas.
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That’s a song. Pretty sure.
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Thanks a lot Canada! I’m reblogging this post if I can figure out how to do it.
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No, thank you for taking them off our hands. Even with all the snow Canada is so much better.
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Reblogged this on JT Twissel and commented:
Just had to… thanks so much Canada!
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AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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I know. Right?
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I have this feeling that these will be the kind of gifts that will keep right on giving for years to come. Thanks. A lot.
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No no. Thank you for taking them. And we have a really strict return policy.
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I’m pretty sure I have the receipts around here some place.
Seriously, I look at Ted Cruz running for President and wonder how this can possibly be.
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I love America. The land of opportunity.
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Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses … oh, and throw in your arrogantly stupid idiots.
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Be grateful we didn’t send Rob Ford and his idiot brother Doug.
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My husband thought I was lying when I told him about Cruz announcing that he’s running. “Wait, isn’t he one of the guys wanting to see Obama’s birth certificate to verify that he was born here?”
Now if only Sarah Palin and Rand Paul will announce. Most entertaining GOP primary in the history of the worlds.
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I can’t wait for the primaries! I love American politics. If you guys put another Bush in the White House I’ll shit my pants.
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Where there’s a will (and passing discriminatory voting laws), there’s a way.
That reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw back in 2007. “Hilary: A Smarter Bush for President.”
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Oh that’s clever. I like it.
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In your defense, he’s not even Canadian, but the unholy hybrid of an American and Cuban who just SPAWNED in Canada. We don’t blame you. We blame Satan.
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I’ve heard even Satan is denying responsibility. Some things are even too fucked up for him.
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Read: The Current American Republican Party
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You have point there.
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I’d take Bieber over Cruz any time. At least Bieber isn’t trying to be my president.
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There is something so off putting about Cruz. A creepiness.
Shit. Maybe Bieber will run for Prime Minister of Canada. Yikes.
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Maybe, but I think he’s much more qualified to be the mayor of Toronto.
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I’m think regifting Bieber and giving him to Cruz might be fitting. Cruz would need his Obamacare.
BTW, I’ve heard all that stuff about having one US citizen as a parent being good enough, but I still want to see his birth certificate. If you don’t believe Hawaii, why would you believe Canada.
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I’d like a DNA test. Just so we know he isn’t some holy robot created by the GOP.
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Wasn’t there a church with people called holy robots? Maybe he’d be proud.
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With a name like that I’d be tempted to join.
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Me too
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