Election Promises and Big Fat Lies

I will continue my series on Bailey on Wednesday. I thought I’d post this today, though, as it’s timely and, well, I just felt like America needed a bit of hand and some encouragement.

Well, America, you gone and done it. You’ve just put Donald Trump one step away from the White House. I’d first like to thank you. Every election cycle, you bring the crazy and become the scariest, most hilarious, jaw-dropping reality show ever. And as a Canadian I’m equal parts concerned for your sanity and entertained. Except for Florida. Florida is a world of its own crazy and needs to be committed. Get your shit together, Florida!

It appears that Mexicans aren’t the only brown things The Donald is trying to stop from crossing the border.

Can we talk for a second about the outrageous promise Trump and Bernie Sanders among others have made about bringing back manufacturing jobs to the United States? This isn’t going to happen. We in North America–and the West generally–owe our standard of living to the slave class we employ overseas. Our goods are made, mostly, by women and children in third-world countries making pennies a day in horrific conditions. This is why we have t-shirts at Walmart for five dollars. There are nowhere near enough people who would accept paying thirty dollars for the same t-shirt.

This slave class we employ is palatable because of the physical distance between us and them; this distance allows us, for the most part, to not question why we are as affluent as we are. So when any politician beats the drum of promising to bring manufacturing jobs back to America, this is a lie. They know it’s a lie and it’s all the more shameful because they’re playing on the desperation of the poor and the chronically unemployed here at home while not seeming to give two shits for the slave class that toils away in a living nightmare so we can have cheap Reeboks and thirty-dollar cargo pants.

I hold Trump, a businessman, more accountable for telling this lie because he knows how the game is played yet continues to spout this rhetoric, knowing that none of these promises will ever come to fruition. Be careful, my American friends, and Godspeed. I’ll fix up the spare room in case you need to flee. You always have a friend here in Alberta. And even if the Canadian government decides to build a wall, I’ll do my best to smuggle you in.

 

 

• The Bailey Chronicles Part 1: Like a Boss
• The Bailey Chronicles Part 2: Hustle and Flow

Categories: Politics

Tags: American election, Canada, Donald Trump, manufacturing, poverty, slavery, unemployment